My life since my last blog post has been a whirlwind. I got married, lived through a horrible marriage, experienced pregnancy on my own, while going through a divorce, and now I am a single mother with no attachments but to this little girl who is my saving grace.
As a little girl I always imagined my life would be full of great and wonderful dreams. Now I reflect on the last few years and it is far from great and wonderful. Those dreams didn't happen but died when wrong choices were made; made even with a knowledge that they were wrong.
Daily I have to think how am I going to survive and how am I going to support my little babe? I have no money because I don't have a job. I have no job because I am a full time student. I live at home with my parents, who still treat me as a child and in turn I treat them like children too. I have all these demands pulling me in all directions. Some that don't have to be in existence but are because humans are selfish. I am always sleep deprived. I have no alone time. I get cold sores when I am stressed but I don't want sympathy.
If I have learned anything in the last three years, I have learned that out of the darkness comes light. Even though life didn't go as planned I was blessed with a beautiful daughter who dotes on me. I look at her and see the beauty of life and the hope of goodness and love. I am able to survive because of those parents who still treat me as a child. If it wasn't for the sacrifices they make in mine and my daughters behalf, we would be in a world of hurt. It is because of them that I can go to school full time and can be a stay at home Mom. They are helping me with providing my daughter with a brighter future.
Even though life is hard and demanding, I step forward with the hope of something better crossing my path. Why make life harder by being pessimistic? I much rather look in the face of adversity and say up yours. You won't get the best of me. You will only make me stronger.
